These ten suggestions can assist you in setting the proper expectations for a successful divorce.
When a marriage dissolves, spouses and children are typically confronted with a perfect storm of unpleasant events, including new living arrangements, parenting schedules, and, of course, property and financial considerations. These changes can make it difficult for spouses to understand the legal process of divorce, and they may even affect their capacity to make smart judgments as a result of their emotions. It may be simpler to get through a divorce lawyer surrey bc if you are well-informed about the process before it begins. The following article offers some advice to help you get through this trying period.
1. Don’t Expect Your Divorce Case to “Win”
Many people begin their divorce with the intention of “beating” their spouse in court. In truth, there is almost never a true victor in a divorce. The average divorce entails a number of concerns, including child custody, child support, and property split. Divorcing spouses rarely get everything they desire out of their divorce. For example, one spouse may be given primary physical custody of the children but receive far less spousal support than requested; it’s nearly impossible to discern who is the “winning” and who is the “loser,” so striving to “win” is futile.
Instead, think about the implications of a full-fledged legal battle before you start down that road. In a contentious divorce, your children may suffer the most, in addition to the tens of thousands of dollars you’ll spend. You could forget who “won” once the dust has settled.
2. Don’t make major decisions without first considering them.
During a divorce, several life-altering decisions must be made. You may need to decide whether or not to sell the family house, for example. Refrain from making a hasty conclusion just to get the issue over with. When making crucial decisions, it’s critical to think about the repercussions.
3. You’re Divorcing, but Your Children Aren’t
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the excitement of the moment. Saying hurtful things to your spouse in front of your children, on the other hand, might have a long-term impact. According to psychological studies, the more parents argue throughout a divorce, the worse the process is for the children.
If you’re going to say anything harmful, take a moment to consider before you say it. Counting to ten before answering a question or making a statement is a simple rule to follow.
Furthermore, unless there has been a history of abuse or neglect, your children will maintain contact with their other parent. You should not try to discourage or interfere with a good parent-child bond, no matter how angry you are with your partner.
You might want to explore having an experienced mental health expert counsel your children about the divorce, as well as seeking counseling for yourself so that you can learn how to address your children’s needs during this trying time.
4. Don’t believe everything you hear about other people’s divorces.
Your divorced friends may be able to offer you advise on how to go with your divorce. Unfortunately, the information and counsel you receive from others may be inaccurate or misleading.
Every divorce has its own set of problems. Your friends may believe their divorce was typical, but it’s important not to make decisions based on what others have gone through. Instead, trust the advise of your lawyers, mental health doctors, and financial advisors, who are all aware with the details of your situation.
5. Let go of the past. Make preparations for the future. Be someone who sees the big picture.
Obsessing over all of the horrible things your spouse did during your marriage will only keep you from moving on with your life and making decisions that are in the best interests of your family. Make an effort to forget about the past and concentrate on the future. Approach your divorce with the intention of cooperating with your spouse to get the greatest possible outcome for your family.
You could get caught up in minor details, such as how to divide your DVD collection. This could be due to you or your spouse’s inability to let go of a prior hurt. However, taking this route will lengthen the time (and cost) it takes to conclude your divorce. Don’t get too worked up about minor details. Rather, strive to be a “big-picture thinker.” Make some little concessions, and you’ll have more time to devote to more important tasks, such as seeing your children.
6. The Courtroom Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be
When matters in a divorce case aren’t going well, one spouse may threaten to end the negotiations and go to court. The road to a divorce trial, on the other hand, is long and expensive. The cost of a trial might deplete the assets that are frequently at issue in a dispute. Even straightforward cases can take several days in court, and after spending tens of thousands of dollars, spouses and their counsel are left with full doubt about how a judge will rule.
7. Think about alternatives to going to court.
The majority of people believe that all divorces end up in court. There are, in fact, other options for resolving divorce situations. One option is “mediation,” in which a mediator (a neutral third party with experience in divorce cases) organizes face-to-face conversations between divorcing couples and assists them in reaching mutual agreements. During the mediation process, the mediator will frequently propose that each spouse consult with an attorney. These consulting attorneys, on the other hand, do not attend mediation sessions.
Each spouse engages a collaborative attorney in a “collaborative divorce,” and both parties agree to settle the case without going to court. A group of experts has been created to aid in the decision-making process. Aside from the attorneys, the typical team consists of mental health professionals (who act as “divorce coaches” and child specialists) and a neutral financial specialist, such as an accountant or a financial consultant. The spouses and their collaborative team address each problem in the case through face-to-face negotiations, e-mails, and phone calls.
The most significant advantage of mediation or collaborative divorce is that it allows divorcing spouses to make their own choices. For example, when splitting parental time, a court may utilize a conventional timetable that has been employed in many other cases. Spouses can develop a parenting plan that best meets their children’s needs through mediation and teamwork.
However, in other cases, going to court is the only method to address a problem. If your partner, for example, abuses you or your child, you will need to seek a protective order. Alternatively, if you require immediate financial assistance from your husband, you may need to petition a judge for temporary child support and/or alimony. If that’s the case, embrace the fact that you’ll have to go to court and seek legal advice.
8. Tell your attorney and your spouse the truth.
You must present your attorney with all pertinent information so that he or she may properly examine your case and provide you with sound counsel. Even if you try to keep something from your lawyer, the truth will eventually come out (e.g., your spouse may discover hidden facts from a third party or by reviewing documents). However, at that time, your reluctance to be forthright could have already affected your case and your potential to secure a favorable outcome.
In the same way, you should be truthful with your spouse. Divorcing spouses in California are required to voluntarily reveal any information and papers related to their income, expenses, assets, and obligations. In addition, the law requires spouses to keep that information up to date as new information becomes available.
These responsibilities are taken seriously by the law. If a spouse does not comply, a judge may impose harsh sanctions. In one case, the wife filed for divorce while concealing her $1.5 million lottery win in California. The judge was told about the concealment once the husband discovered it. The court gave the spouse the entire lottery prizes, not just half of them.
9. Make copies of important documents and create an inventory of household furniture and furnishings.
Disputes over furniture, furnishings, and other precious goods, such as a fine wine collection or an expensive piece of art, can be avoided by conducting a thorough inventory of your property, as follows:
- Take pictures of each item and groups of tiny objects, such as dinnerware, together.
- In every shot, include the front page of that day’s newspaper to produce a “time stamp,” which eliminates any allegations that the photo was taken at a different period.
- Keep your images in a secure location.
- Make a list of everything you have, including where it’s located and how much you think it’s worth.
- Obtain appraisals for the items in your inventory or request insurance inventories.
Despite the tight disclosure regulations, some separating spouses will conceal or destroy important documents such as prenuptial agreements. Making copies of key documents as soon as you decide to file for divorce, or find that your husband is doing so, will help you avoid this situation.
10. Have Expectations That Are Reasonable
Divorcing spouses often have aims that are entirely irrational or against the law. You must grasp how the law applies to your case and have a reasonable expectation regarding the outcome if you want your divorce case to be concluded promptly. You might wish to speak with an attorney to learn more about the possible outcomes in your case.
